You Don’t Need to Be Nice - You Need to Be Clear
By VICKY BROWN
Entrepreneurs and small business owners often wear a lot of hats – and leadership is one of the most important (and most uncomfortable) hats to wear. Especially if you’re leading a team for the first time, it’s easy to confuse “being a good boss” with “being nice.” But here’s the truth: clear leadership communication is far more powerful – and more respectful – than trying to be universally liked.
Let’s start with the root issue. Many first-time leaders, especially those running tight-knit or fast-growing teams, try to avoid conflict by softening feedback, over-explaining decisions, or delaying hard conversations. The instinct is understandable – you want a supportive, respectful culture. You want your team to feel safe, valued, and appreciated.
But when the drive to be “nice” overrides your ability to be clear, your team ends up confused. Expectations get murky. Accountability slips. And when things go wrong, you feel blindsided – because in your mind, you were doing everything right.
Here’s where the shift needs to happen: clear leadership communication doesn’t mean being cold, robotic, or harsh. It means stating expectations plainly. It means giving direct feedback without dancing around it. It means setting boundaries and sticking to them – all while still being respectful and human.
So what does clarity actually sound like?
It sounds like, “This didn’t meet the standard we agreed on,” instead of “No worries, I’ll just fix it.”
It sounds like, “Here’s the decision I’ve made and why,” instead of leaving people guessing.
It sounds like, “Your role is shifting, and these are the new priorities,” instead of waiting until they mess up to have the conversation.
Leaders who prioritize clarity over comfort don’t avoid hard moments – they meet them head-on, with honesty and consistency. And that approach doesn’t just protect the business. It creates a workplace where people know what success looks like, how to course-correct, and how to trust their leader.
“… when you pick up the slack without saying anything, you’re sending the message that the current performance is acceptable”
It also helps prevent burnout and resentment. Because when you pick up the slack without saying anything, you’re sending the message that the current performance is acceptable – even if it isn’t. And when you delay giving feedback to “be nice,” you’re actually being unfair – both to the person who needs that feedback, and to the rest of the team who’s impacted by their behavior.
There’s also a flipside to this. Clarity isn’t just for correction – it’s also for celebration. Don’t assume your team knows they’re doing well just because you haven’t said otherwise. Be explicit with praise. Show them what’s working. That’s part of clear leadership communication too.
If this sounds uncomfortable, you’re not alone. Many leaders worry that being clear will make them sound mean. But it’s the opposite. Clear is kind. It gives people the full story. It respects their ability to hear the truth and respond to it. It builds trust, confidence, and momentum.
Whether you’re an entrepreneur jumping into a leadership role, a seasoned business pro with new HR responsibilities, or just starting your HR career – we’ve got the right path to guide you through your HR hurdles.
Check out the Leaders Journey Experience. This online education platform holds the LJE Masterclass, HR SimpleStart Academy and HR FuturePro Academy.
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So if you’re feeling frustrated because your team keeps missing the mark – take a breath and ask yourself: have I really been clear? Or have I been softening, avoiding, or hoping they’d figure it out on their own?
The most powerful shift you can make as a leader is to embrace your role fully. You’re not their peer anymore. You’re not a co-worker trying to get along. You’re the person responsible for setting direction, creating clarity, and holding the standard.
You can still be warm. You can still be kind. You can still celebrate birthdays and check in on people’s kids and be someone they enjoy working with.
But when it’s time to lead – lead clearly. Say the thing that needs to be said. Early, directly, and with respect.
Because people don’t trust vague. They trust consistent, direct, and fair leadership.
And that starts with you.