The Lonely Leader
By VICKY BROWN
Let’s talk about something you won’t find on most entrepreneur checklists: the emotional toll of leadership.
If you’ve ever sat alone wondering how to make payroll work, if a key client will walk away, or whether you’ve made the right call – you’re not broken. You’re not failing. You’re just leading.
Why It Feels So Isolating
Running a business is personal. Your time, your money, your name – all wrapped into every decision. And whether you’re leading one employee or twenty, the weight of responsibility falls squarely on your shoulders. You’re the one people look to. The one who makes the call. That pressure creates an emotional distance, even when you’re never physically alone.
And here’s the truth: leadership is inherently isolating. It’s not a sign you’re doing it wrong. It’s a sign you’re carrying the full view. You see trends before they hit, risks before they erupt, and red flags others don’t even notice. That clarity comes with weight – and that weight is hard to share with people who aren’t in your shoes.
Why Your Friends and Family Can’t Always Help
Your support system matters. But when it comes to the emotional side of running a business, your usual circle might not be enough. They care deeply – but they don’t understand the ache of keeping something afloat that you built from scratch. They don’t know the fear behind a bad investment or what it’s like to keep smiling when you’re worried everything might fall apart.
So what happens? You stop explaining. You keep it to yourself. And the loneliness deepens.
But here’s a mindset shift: stop expecting deep emotional validation from people who’ve never been where you are. It’s not their fault – they just don’t have the context. And that doesn’t mean you need to cut them out. It just means you need to get real about what kind of support they can (and can’t) offer.
“… That pressure creates an emotional distance, even when you’re never physically alone.”
Find the People Who Do Get It
There are people out there who understand – because they’ve been there. Entrepreneurs, founders, coaches, peer communities. People who won’t be shocked when you say you’re scared. Who won’t try to fix it, but will sit with you in it and help you navigate forward.
These are the people who make you feel seen, not judged. And no, you probably won’t find them scrolling your Instagram feed. You’ll find them in masterminds, peer groups, coaching circles, even therapy. You just have to start looking – and give yourself permission to seek that kind of support.
Comparison Culture Isn’t Helping
Let’s also name this: comparison is poison. You’re seeing highlight reels, not the full story. For every founder posting about their latest win, there’s an invisible backstory of struggle and self-doubt. Don’t measure your worth or your progress against someone else’s projection. Focus on building something that’s sustainable – not just shiny.
Progress is messy. You’re not behind. You’re growing.
Whether you’re an entrepreneur jumping into a leadership role, a seasoned business pro with new HR responsibilities, or just starting your HR career – we’ve got the right path to guide you through your HR hurdles.
Check out the Leaders Journey Experience. This online education platform holds the LJE Masterclass, HR SimpleStart Academy and HR FuturePro Academy.
Not sure where to start – take the quiz!
Build Your Resilience – Intentionally
Another myth that needs busting: emotional resilience isn’t a personality trait. It’s a skill – and one you can develop.
That means creating structure that supports your mental health. Boundaries. Real breaks. Check-ins with people who challenge and care. Coaching. Therapy. Anything that keeps you from carrying it all alone until you collapse.
And no, you don’t need to wait until you’re “in crisis” to get help. Preventive support is leadership. It’s how you stay strong enough to show up – for your team, your business, and yourself.
You’re Not Alone – Even If It Feels That Way
Here’s the bottom line: leadership may be lonely, but it doesn’t have to be isolating.
You don’t need to white-knuckle your way through the hard parts. You don’t need to act like everything’s “fine” just to keep up appearances. You deserve real support – not just when things fall apart, but every step of the way.
So go find your people. The ones who get it. The ones who help you stay grounded, clear, and whole. Because the stronger you are behind the scenes, the more powerful you’ll be up front.
And that’s what builds a business that lasts.